Finding myself isn't what I thought it would be. I know I must have patience, and part of the process is to learn to be alone and quiet. I somehow have to move past this phase of "stuck" where I have been the past week.
My week at Onsite was full of self discovery. I explored such deep areas of myself that I had buried for so long, that I didn't even know what they looked like anymore. After uncovering them, which was a necessary part of this whole thing, I now have to deal with them for the first time. My old methods have been proven wrong. I am at a loss.
Progress is being made, I know. Every day that I can identify how I truly feel is a day that I move forward one more step. Today I feel alone and lost. I haven't even gotten out of my pajamas.
I know there will be ups and downs. The high that Onsite brought me was one of revelation. Now, this low is one of looking up at the steepness of the mountain I am about to climb, and wondering how the hell I will make it to the top.
At the top I will find the real me, the full me. I can't wait to meet her, can't wait to BE her. But before I can start climbing, I need to get some strength from above, and get dressed.
Here's to this week. To progress.
